Let’s start with the definition of failure of most people. Failure is the negative feeling one develops when one does not meet their expectation to fulfill a desire. Often failure leads to stress and self-doubts which can further lead to depression when not handled in a rightful manner.
Now, why does this happen, and how it can become a stepping stone or a stumbling block?
Since our childhood, we have been looked down on our failure by society and our peers. Most parents equip their children to deal with their failures better than others. The children with such parents associate failure with the complacency of trying and moving towards their goals(success).
“Success comes from experience; experience comes from bad experiences”
We often forget that there is a very little gap between success and failure. Both can lead us to unhappiness, the only difference is our outlook towards them.
Scholars believe that failure is the result of life traps (unsatisfactory relationships, irrational lack of self-esteem, feelings of being unfulfilled). It’s hard to overcome these life traps but any change is difficult and needs willingness, courage, and discipline to achieve one’s physical, spiritual, mental, and social growth.
We can make our failures our stepping stones by accepting them without blaming ourselves. In times of failure, we need to ask ourselves the following questions:
Instead of seeing failure in a negative light, we can see them as the opportunity to restart and learn. They give way to introspection and can help us discover ourselves in the new areas of our lives that we never thought of before.
History is full of the people who fought their setbacks and reached the higher purpose of their lives. We, humans, are born to fail and then succeed, only a person who is dead or has given up is hard to fail at anything.
Many famous people and companies have been either rejected or have hardly made any profit at the beginning of their journeys like J. K. Rowlings and Coke.
When we accept our failures without attaching unrealistic expectations to them, we tend to excel. Determination to maintain the state of self-growth is the key. Whatever happened cannot be reversed, but can be avoided in the future. So, instead of focusing on “NOT failing”, focus on “Success”. Bob Dylan once sang:
"There is no success like failure and failure's no success at all.”
When we see failure as the end, we fail; then failure becomes the stumbling block. Lamenting will make the situation worse as already things are out of control.
Shunryu Suzuki, a Japanese Buddhist scholar, lectures to remember to always keep an open mind. If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything. It is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind, there are few. A journey can begin with discovery, sometimes failure, but always keep a curiosity for the unknown.
When we were learning to walk, we fell many times but did the fear of falling could stop us from walking or running. No, right? We learn “fear of failing” when we grow old but with corrective measures, we thrive.
Don’t worry about failure; worry about the chances you may miss if you don't even try
Author: Deeksha Verma (linkedin.com/in/deeksha-verma-93ab51219)
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